“When are you getting rid of the dogs?” Mom asked the other day. I looked at her askance. “In about ten years,” I said. “They are taking up too much of your time,” she said. I admit, they do. I have four dogs rescued from the side of the road or from friends or neighbors […]
One thing for sure, our elderly parents don’t forget distant memories. They may not know what they ate this morning, but they can remember vivid details about some occurrence long ago. And although she wasn’t part of the memory, Mom wants something done about it. I spoke to the residents @CarriageInn for my monthly presentation […]
Mom never encouraged cuddling. Daddy did, but Mom, very rarely. So, other than a hug or a peck on the cheek, touching her is hard for me, especially for something as intimate as bathing. As I arrived at her Resident Facility yesterday morning, I passed one of the Caregivers who had the day off. She […]
For almost all of her 98 years, my mother has kept a journal. Yesterday I saw her first attempt since she has been at the Residential Facility. It was an almost illegible scrawl in red ink. A confused rambling asking for her distant husband, Al. A garbled sentence of certainty that she was there to […]
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to have lunch with a dear friend and colleague. Like me, she too has a 98 year-old mother. She cares for her mother at their home and has given up her entire life to caregiving. We spent lunch comparing notes on our parent. It is a challenge no matter […]
Like that old song said, it’s slip-sliding away. The mind is certainly a strange and wondrous thing. But for Mom, her mind is slowly becoming a sieve that leaks facts and knowledge and the ability to function. For me, dealing with her daily has become a puzzling conundrum. What is confusing to me is that […]
It must be the nights that are the worst. To be alone in the dark. No snuffling, snoring, irritating presence in the bed beside her. No one to speak to. No one to complain to. No one after forty years of someone. She feels so superior to many others at the Retirement Community. Superior to […]
Why is it so difficult to talk to a deaf or almost deaf person? Recently I was sitting in a lovely garden, purple bougainvillea falling over an orange wall, blue and yellow flowers nodding in the breeze, palm fronds rattling in a soft whisper overhead. I was working away on my laptop when my attention […]
“Again?” my 98 year-old mother says, with considerable irritation, as I walk into the dining room of the retirement community. One daren’t call them nursing homes anymore. “I thought you were gone on your trip,” she says, angry now. “What are you doing here?” It’s true. I was supposed to be gone. First a week-long […]
The complaints are legion. With nothing else to do but worry about those around them, it is not surprising that Retirement Communities are rife with bickering, quarreling, and back-biting complaints. Fortunately, the Facility Mom is in is relatively peaceful. The complaints, when they come, and they always do, are expressed quietly, by note or in […]